Vision

Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people. News about him spread all over Syria, and people brought to him all who were ill with various diseases, those suffering severe pain, the demon-possessed, those having seizures, and the paralyzed, and he healed them.

Matthew 4:23-24

We keep on praising God for his hand of protection, his love, and his mercy. I am so thankful that many of the side effects from treatment are slowly being healed. However, there are still many things left to pray for, including prayers of healing for the damage the tumor has already done. In the next few weeks we want to focus in on each request. Tonight we want to specifically pray for my vision.

Over the past year I developed double vision when looking to the right. Please pray with us that this would be healed. Also, the past couple of days my vision in both eyes has been somewhat blurry. Pray that this will not grow into something more serious and that in fact, my eyes would clear up. There is no doubt that part of Jesus' earthly ministry was healing the sick and we still believe He heals today. That's why we ask that you join us in prayer for complete healing of my vision.

Praise God!

I will exalt you, my God the King;

I will praise your name for ever and ever.

Every day I will praise you

and extol your name for ever and ever.

Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise;

his greatness no one can fathom.

Psalm 145:1-3

I'm back...it's been a long week of trying to get back into the swing of things at home...catching up on the mail and other things that didn't take care of themselves while we were gone! A few visits from family. And lots of rests in between everything.

Today I wanted to take a moment and just praise God for his many blessings and hope that you will join me. When we started this journey several weeks ago, I had lots of info thrown at me from the doctors. There was a lot to process. There was a chance that the radiation could cause more serious problems (like blindness, deafness, and even death). But God protected my body and got me through these weeks and Zac and I have so much to be thankful for!!

First, praise God that radiation is over! : ) It went pretty quickly for the first few weeks, but it grew harder and harder to go the last week or so. A lot of this was because of always feeling sick...which, praise God, has for the most part subsided! And we definitely praise God for no sudden or serious changes, such as brain swelling, bleeding, high blood pressure, blindness, deafness, or death!! Praise God for his mercies!

I praise God also for only two headaches and no squeezing headpains since June 10! Two headaches is probably considered normal. The big part is that the headpains that were happening several times a week, have stopped!! Praise God!!! I'm still trying to stay away from things that caused these (like heavy lifting), but I've done some things that normally would have caused one...and nothing! Praise God!! Also, we are so thankful that my medication has decreased. I'm already down to only one prescription twice a day! I praise God that my scalp has not experienced the sunburnt feeling they said it would. I experience slight sensitivity, but nothing at all like they expected. Praise the Lord!

We are also so thankful for the Hope Lodge. This provided a free place to stay while we were in Iowa City. Instead of driving back and forth everyday (which would have made me more tired) or staying in a hotel (which would have added to the many expenses), we had a beautiful place to stay with great staff. We praise God for the Hope Lodge and the American Cancer Society. We also praise God for the great staff I had at the University of Iowa. How often do you get a hug, or two, from your nurse or tech? The radiation clinic was helpful, got me answers right away, and didn't keep me waiting. Praise God!

There are still so many things that we are praising God for, too many to list. But we especially praise Him for who He is. He is the great I Am. He is the Almighty God. He is a loving God. He is a God of never-ending mercies. He is a compassionate God....we could keep going, but you get the picture!

Praise the LORD!!

Treatment Stats

Teach us to number our days aright,

that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Psalm 90:12

Zac and I were reflecting on all the things that have taken place since June 10th, the day we decided to start treatment, and thought it'd be fun to put a little list together. Some are funny, some are serious, but we hope you enjoy!

• 25 - number of radiation treatments
• 17 - doctor's appointments
• 3 - MRIs
• 2 - headaches
• 1 - trip to the ER
• 36 - magazines read
• 2 - puzzles finished
• 1808 - miles driven to IC and back
• 0 - speeding tickets to and from Iowa City
• 1 - number of Iowa Hawkeye coaches spotted in IC (former-coach Tom Davis)
• 21 - average number of pills taken a day (but it's dropping!!)
• 156,231 - number of hairs lost (ok, we have no idea exactly, but it's been a lot!)
• 143 - cards received
• 26 - cards from my Texas Koch's
• 14 - lbs lost together (Stacie's due to treatment, Zac's due to no home-cooking by Stacie)
• 19 - wins by the Cubs
• 6 - books of the bible read (Hebrews, Galations, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, 1Thessalonians)
• 1045 - number of new cancer cases in Iowa in last 36 days
• 123,279 - number of new cancer cases in US in last 36 days

Last day!!!!

For nothing is impossible with God.

Luke 1:37

Last day of radiation is tomorrow!!!! Zac and I will be heading over in the morning and returning the same day. We've already packed up and moved out of Hope Lodge.
(http://www.cancer.org/docroot/subsite/hopelodge/IA_IowaCity/rag_index.asp), which was such a blessing the past several weeks. Although we were clearly the youngest people staying there, we still made a few friends along the way. There was an older man, with tounge cancer, who liked to tease me whenever he was feeling good. And I spent several hours putting together puzzles with a dear woman from Florida, whose husband recently started treatment.

We had a relaxing weekend again. Last night the two of us went to an Iowa Cubs game (thank you Thompson family!) A funny story from the game...I think I might have scared the high school girl sitting behind me. My "bald spots" aren't normally noticably, except I've found when the wind blows or I tip my head down. There was a bit of a breeze last night so I'm not sure what all she saw!! I'm hoping it grows back by November or it could be a cold winter!!

Thank you all so much for the prayers and support over the past several weeks (and 2+ years). Although we're done with the radiation tomorrow, I'll try my best to update the blog a couple times a week, as I'm still dealing with several side effects yet from treatment and medications. And we still need prayer that this tumor will be gone one day! According to every doctor we've met, this tumor is considered incurable and treatment was to stop it from growing for awhile and possibly shrink it some. But we have and believe in a big God, who is bigger than this tumor. All things are possible with the God who could create the universe, who created you and me.

Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens,

your faithfulness to the skies.

Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,

your justice like the great deep.

O LORD, you preserve both man and beast.

How priceless is your unfailing love!

Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings.

Psalm 36: 5-7

I'm having kind of a rough day today. Feeling really tired again, an upset stomach that lasts several hours and my neck is kind of sore again. You would think the last few days would be the easiest for me, as I can see the end in sight, but instead it's only getting harder to go to my appointment everyday. I don't seem to feel well the hour before and a couple hours after treatment. Although I'm hungry, no food sounds good or tastes good anymore in the afternoon/evening.

I'm not going to lie, it's hard being sick and yet staying positive through it. But God is bigger than this illness. Praying to him at every moment, opening his Word everyday, trusting him even when things don't go well - that's what keeps me going. That is where I find the strength. I don't have the strength on my own. I find my strength in God alone. I find refuge in the shadow of His wings.

I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart;

I will tell of all your wonders.

I will be glad and rejoice in you;

I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.

Psalm 9: 1-2

Three more days to go!!!! I can hardly believe that I'm almost finished with the 5 weeks of radiation. It's somehow gone by quickly...which I am very thankful for!!! Even though I can see the end in sight, each day gets harder and harder to go for treatment. I instantly feel nauseous during it and then on and off during the rest of the day.

I met with my oncologist today. We have great news, but we still need your prayers! I will end my chemo on Tuesday. They won't see me back until the middle of August when I will have my next MRI. At that time they will re-evaluate things and decide if I need to continue with the chemo!! If they decide to continue, I will be on an on-and-off schedule of taking them through December. My oncologist was very impressed with how my body's been handling things and seems to be very optimistic....hmmm.... maybe there's a lot a prayers going out to God!!!! I hope I'm explaining this well. It may sound strange to have just found this out, but some of it is due to the nature of the tumor, as it's not your normal brain tumor. But we do know we are in great hands here.

Zac and I are praising God for his hand of protection over my body! From day one we have been praying that God's hand would guide the radiation and chemo to shrink the tumor cells and not harm the healthy cells. We are still praying for God's healing touch that this tumor will be gone one day! Please continue to pray with us. Although we've received good news, the tumor is still there. We know your prayers are being answered - we feel them everyday!

Praise the Lord.

Praise, O servants of the Lord,

praise the name of the Lord.

Let the name of the Lord be praised,

both now and forevermore.

From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets,

the name of the Lord is to be praised.
Psalm 113:1-3

Since my time staying in Iowa City is getting short, my blog tonight is going to be short too. : ) I've had a long day and am pretty tired. A muscle in my neck/throat was bothering me this afternoon and so we met with the doctor after treatment. They're not sure what it is, but will monitor it. I also met with a dietician to try to help with medication related side effects I've been dealing with. Plus refilling meds and such, made for a long day. My mom then treated me to a chair massage at the hospital "spa" which helped with the tension!

We do have a HUGE praise! We were asking my nurse if some of the side effects would continue for the 5+ months of chemo. She said probably not because of my chemo schedule - she further explained that on my last day of radiation, I will take the chemo that night and then I will be off of it for a month!!!! I'm not sure on the exact schedule, they will explain it tomorrow, but I will be on and off for the rest of the five months!! We are praising God both now and forevermore!!

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong, and that you O Lord, are loving.

Psalm 62:1-2,7-8, 11

As I wrote the above verse, I was truly comforted. God is my rock. He is my refuge. He is my salvation. He is strong and he is loving. I've often thought over the past two and a half years how there is no way I could have gone through this not knowing God, not knowing Jesus Christ, not being filled with the Holy Spirit. He alone has gotten me through this. Every single day I feel his love. Every day I feel his peace. I am in his arms every moment. And there is no place else I'd rather be - in the arms of our loving Creator.

I'm back once again in Iowa City and just finished Day 20...5 more to go!! I had an MRI immediately afterwards. I won't really find any results out from it as it's mainly for the doctor's tracking. But we continue to pray that one day, in God's perfect timing, the MRI will show that the tumor is completely gone!

I continue to praise God for no head "pains" - absolutely none! The best I can explain this is that it felt as if someone was squeezing my brain for a couple seconds. In the month before we started treatment, it would happen a couple times a day. I am in awe that I've had not one...but I shouldn't be!! I'm still experiencing nausea in the afternoons after treatment. My hair is falling out in clumps now, but it's all in the back so you can't see it. I haven't been able to blow dry, curl, or use styling products from day one because of skin irritations/burns. They said my scalp would look sunburnt where the beams hit, but so far it's fine other than it's just starting to get slightly sensitive this week. All-in-all, things are going well. Nothing major to complain about, just minor annoyances!

My mom is here with me for a couple nights again. I'm so blessed to have an amazing family - my husband, mom, dad, sisters, and more, Zac's family and so many friends and also friends we've never met yet. May each of you feel God's love and strength tonight! Trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him.

Weekend Update

Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the LORD is good. 1 Peter 2:2-3

Forgive me, blog addicts, for not posting yesterday. : ) Travel days get kind of long and by the time I get home, I'm ready for a rest. I can't believe I've finished week 4 already!!!! It's incredible how fast it's been going. I have one more full week and then I'll have to return the following Monday for my 25th day. This coming Monday I will also have my 2nd MRI. I've maybe mentioned this before, but they don't expect to see instant results. The MRI is mainly for them to monitor and also to see if they need to increase the dose and duration.

I've still been experiencing some nausea/GI issues the past few days. I met with my doctor yesterday and they increased my meds just a bit so hopefully that will work. I've also noticed a huge change in my taste buds the last couple days. This is a common side effect of the radiation and they say it could last up to 6-12 months following treatment. The main difference is that anything remotely sweet (yogurt) or acidic (pasta sauce), tastes horrible. Two and a half years ago, when we first found out about the tumor, I started really paying attention to food and my body - mainly noticing that there were certain foods that caused instant headaches for me. The main thing is sugar - from foods like desserts, not sugar in fruit. So to keep from getting headaches, I've tried my best to stay away from sugary foods. And this past month, I've especially avoided all desserts. But this new change in tastes, adds yet another dynamic to planning meals, grocery shopping, eating out.

Just enjoying the rest of the weekend - and excited my sister's bringing my niece and nephew this afternoon to visit!!!! I'll be back on here Monday, have a great weekend and thank for the prayers!!

7 Days to go!!

Not to us, O LORD, not to us

but to your name be the glory,

because of your love and

faithfulness.

Psalm 115:1

Since everyone always asks questions about the radiation process, I thought I'd include pictures so you can get a better understanding. The tech's set me up on the table and then leave the room for each dose. They come back in the room 4 times to adjust me - moving the table, the equipment and adjusting my mouthpiece. Even with all this adjusting, it usually only takes around 10-15 minutes. I think I've explained it before, but in the close up shot, you can see my mask that's fitted to my face, which is to keep me from moving. I also have a mouthpiece, which has censors that line up with a computer to make sure the radiation goes precisely where it's supposed to. They also tape my chin closed, which also keeps me from moving. There is no pain, I don't feel anything. I just hear the noise of the machine turning on and off. I'm also left with a bad taste in my mouth and unpleasant smell.

Zac is back in Iowa City with me! He got here last night. We're heading home tomorrow morning after treatment and app't with dr. I've been feeling slightly nauseous the past few days in the afternoon. Looking forward to enjoying another weekend back!

Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous; it is fitting for the upright to praise him. Praise the LORD with the harp; make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre. Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy.

For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. The LORD loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love. By the word of the LORD were the heavens made, their starry host by the breath of his mouth. He gathers the waters of the sea into jars; he puts the deep into storehouses. Let all the earth fear the LORD; let all the people of the world revere him. For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm. The LORD foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.

Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance. From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all mankind; from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth - he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do. No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength. A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save. But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you. Psalm 33

So after last night's post, my headache kept getting worse. I had to stay up to take my 10:00 medication, but only wanted to sleep because I knew that sleep was about the only thing that would take it away. But I also wondered - how am I going to sleep when I get up several times in the night because of all the water I have to drink with my meds?! However, I was exhausted after not sleeping much the night before and fell asleep immediately at 10:30. The FIRST time I woke up wasn't until 1:30 and the headache was gone!! That was the longest I had slept in a long time...and beyond that, there was already no headache! I lay in bed at 1:30AM, praising God! It may sound silly to some to be shouting for joy, but the thought of having headaches through this is scary and leaves me wondering sometimes - what if it doesn't go away or what if it's signaling something is worse. Because of this I continued my praise and drifted off to sleep for another 3 hours (again, amazing!) and woke at 4:30, singing praises once again.

If you haven't noticed, Zac and I enjoy the book of Psalms. And I couldn't resist including the entire chapter this time. I hope you enjoy it too! Remember to praise the LORD today for his many blessings in your life. He is faithful in all he does.

"Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Psalm 46:10-11

Stillness in our world is rather rare yet God commands us to be still and know him. He desires for us to be near him and to recognize that He alone is God! The Lord is with us and we are so blessed!! This is Amy and I have been priviledged to care for Stacie these last days which has ministred to my heart.

Stacie did not rest as well last night as we had hoped but she was ready to walk this morning. The stillness of God was with us even as we were surrounded by commutors, runners and traffic. After breakfast and devo's we found ourselves attracted to a puzzle in the common area. We both love puzzles and are actually making some head way on it too!! Around lunch we decided to venture out and found a quiet deli. From there it was to the hospital for her treatment.

This afternoon and tonight Stacie has been struggling with a slight headache. We ask for continued prayers that she will be protected physically from headaches, nausea, and fatigue.
Watching Stacie, I have been amazed at her courage, calmness and peace. Prayer is such a source of strength and it encompasses her entire day. I have been so blessed to pray for her, with her and over her. Your prayers are such a source of comfort and your cards are a great source of encouragement. Thank you for your constant love and faithfulness.

Back at it!

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

So after an amazing and wonderful long weekend...I'm back to Iowa City. Zac and I had a very relaxing weekend and the fatigue I had been experiencing has actually slowed down. I was tired Friday and Saturday and needed to rest in the afternoon. However, it never hit me on Sunday! I felt great all day! Praise the LORD! The shedding of hair has continued but I continue to be thankful for not losing all of it and for having hairstylists in the family if needed! But so far you can't even notice. I was able to see my dad and Zac and I made it to church Sunday - other than that a pretty low-key 4th of July.

I headed over this morning with my friend Amy, who's staying for a couple nights. I got through my 15th appointment and I now have only 10 more days and I'm still amazed at how quickly it's going. Please pray continuously with us that God will protect every good cell in my body. That he will guide the radiation and the medications directly where they need to go to shrink the tumor and no harm will be done to the healthy cells. We're praying for no swelling, no bleeding, no high blood pressure, no headaches. And that damage that has been done, would be restored.

I know I mention this a lot, but we are so thankful for the many prayers! We praise God everyday for our wonderful family and friends. As we've walked through this, we've felt the love and peace of God everyday and pray that you feel the same in whatever you're facing this day.

Hair Loss...

And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid.

Matthew 10:30-31a

I don't think I've ever really explained the extent of hair loss I'm expected to have. I think most people (me included at one time) think that chemotherapy means total hair loss. However, all cancer treatment is different and with the chemo I'm taking, I'm not expected to lose my hair. However, from the radiation I'm expected to lose patches of hair where the radiation hits. It may or may not be permenant - but probably will not be. They said to expect it a few weeks after treatment starts. Well...this morning after I showered, I combed hair and was left with a small clump of hair in hand. Yikes! They can tell you it's going to happen, but when it happens, you're really not prepared. I am so very thankful that I won't lose all my hair, but it was still a difficult way to start out the morning.

Update

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23

Just wanted to give a quick end of the week update. I didn't get around to it last night as the fatigue has set in! Wednesday night I slept great for once and even slept longer than the normal 5AM. I felt great all of Thursday morning. However, by the afternoon I was exhausted and that seems to be the case again today.

I met with both of my doctors this week and things seem to be going well. My radiation doctor called me a star patient. : ) I'd attribute that to the LORD, my Shepherd. I think the hardest part this week was digesting that fact that I'll be taking the chemo pills every night for 6 months! That's a long time. But Lord truly is my comforter and I shall not be in want. He will guide me through!

Have a fun and safe 4th of July!

Half Way Point!!!

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:29-31

It's hard to believe I'm halfway done with my radiation already! It sometimes feels like a crazy dream. It's all gone so fast. We are praising God of every minute that things have gone relatively well so far. God is good!! And we are so thankful for the many prayers of intercession.

I think the fatique set in today. Normally I get a little tired throughout the day and need to lay down for just a bit, especially in the afternoon. However, today I had my treatment and then met with both my radiation oncologist and oncologist. By the time I got back I was exhausted. It was different than just being tired. I got some rest, my mom cooked for me, and after dinner I had some of my energy back. They say the fatigue is from the radiation and also side effects from some of the meds. But I also haven't been sleeping much. It hasn't been a problem for me until today. But it's also a cloudy day, so let's see the sun tomorrow and I'll be back at it! : ) And as I place my hope in the Lord, may he renew my strength.

The week went quickly. I found out that because of the 4th, there is no app't on Friday, so I'm heading home tomorrow morning for a long weekend. It will be great to see Zac early. And it was comforting having my mom here this week to care for me.