Glory to God in the Highest

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the LORD. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger." Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

Many of you may not have known, but Zac and I traveled to Iowa City for a couple appointments and tests on Wednesday. My oncologists wanted an update on my vision following treatment and also wanted me to meet with a head and neck specialist to address my hearing and also a couple small issues I've had over recent months. Although it does not match the glorious news the angels brought years ago (but nothing can compare to the birth of our Savior), we did have a little good news ourselves yesterday.

I started out with a hearing test. After testing, they are not concerned about my hearing at this point. Although the UofI did not test my hearing in June before treatment, I did have it tested here in Des Moines a year ago and it has slightly improved! As one doctor pointed out, I am very blessed to have full hearing in my left ear and only mild problems in my right. We then met with the head and neck surgeon. He addressed the atrophy I have in my face or the little control I have over the muscles in my face. He said it's amazing that I still have control over the muscles around my eyes (I'd say it's God protecting me!).

We were then off to the neuro-ophthalmologist. They ran many tests and took lots of photos. And in the end we received the good news that my vision and double vision has improved slightly. Some of you may know that on my glasses (used only for distances and driving), I have a prism. It's like a clear sticker on my glasses that helps the double vision. The doctors told me yesterday that I can try going without the prism for now!

Zac and I had a great day as it was encouraging to hear the news that there is slight improvement. There have been many times over the past few years that I feel so sorry for myself that I can't hear clearly at all times and have to deal with the double vision. But different things throughout the day reminded me that I am so incredibly blessed. I can still hear and see and it could always be worse. I also recognize that my healing is going to be slow. But we rejoice each day in the little blessings and improvements.

As we enter into the Christmas season, may we all remember the reason for celebrating - The great and glorious news that God sent His Son, Christ, to earth. He was born a baby and one day He made the ultimate sacrifice for us. "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

Let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe. Hebrews 12:28b

We're back from Iowa City and had a good day. Once again, the tumor is "stable" as the doctor's called it. They said that it is basically the same size as before. We were able to look at the scans and a couple of the images looked as if it's slightly smaller, but the doctors explained that this could be because of how my head and neck were positioned each time during the MRIs.

We were able to get some questions answered and I also have more appointments set up - with an ENT dr and also my eye dr. I'm feeling great and it's so encouraging seeing my hair start to grow back, being able to eat foods I couldn't just weeks ago, and noticing slight changes in my vision and hearing. I've got a ways to go, but seeing progress! My next check-up is in February.

Short post tonight, as I'm super tired. Hope to talk to you all soon!

Trip to Iowa City

He is my loving God and my fortress,

my stronghold and my deliverer,

my shield, in whom I take refuge.

Psalm 144:2

It's already time for my next MRI. My last one was August 19 and now we're heading back to Iowa City tomorrow morning (Nov 2) for my next check-up. The last few months have included lots of highs and also lots of lows. I've been sick on and off as my immune system is weak due to the treatment I went through. I seem to catch every bug that's going around. I've had strep throat, a cold, a sinus infection, and the latest is a rare skin rash. But the positive through all of it is that I've had no major headaches!

On the bright side, in the past few weeks, my hair has started to grow back! My sister, Haylie, the stylist, had to take a look and we were all so excited that it was just starting to peak through. And even better is that it's the same color as the rest of my hair (there's a chance it could have grown back differently). The other good news is that I'm starting to gain back my taste buds. I haven't been able to eat cooked tomato foods (like pasta sauce, pizza sauce, salsa) because of my taste buds. They would leave a horrible, bitter taste in my mouth. However, in recent weeks, I've been able to eat these again! We also have hope that my hearing is getting slightly better. I was able to talk to Zac on the phone with my "bad" ear and feel like I could hear him better than before. But we'll need to have it checked in months to come. One by one, things are starting to heal.

Please pray for my MRI and appointments Monday. We are praying for a great report from the MRI. We are also hoping for answers to some of the questions we have. Pray for great wisdom for my doctor's and nurses. We will keep you updated on how things go!

How Beautiful

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. Romans 5:6-11

As you may have noticed, I've added a new song for you to listen to. The song is "How Beautiful" by Twila Paris. It's often played at weddings, so I think I always assumed that it was about the bride and the groom. But today I heard it and really listened to the words. It actually talks about how beautiful Christ is. He laid down His life for us. He took all our sins. He made the ultimate sacrifice. And how beautiful is the body of Christ, the children of God who give and forgive. And how beautiful is the one who waits for heaven, who glows with the promise of heaven.

How beautiful is Christ! I pray that each one of you reading this knows how beautiful He is!!! Because we were unable to follow all of God's commands and therefore sinned against God, God sent his son, Jesus Christ, as a sacrifice. Christ gave his life on the cross, so in exchange, we could live for eternity. All we have to do is ask God for forgiveness and accept his son into our hearts as our Lord and Savior. How beautiful it is to know that we'll be heaven one day.

And how beautiful is the body of Christ - those of us who have believed in Christ. Zac and I have experienced the beauty and love of so many of you over the past few months. You have loved us and cared for us. You have encouraged us and prayed for us. You are truly beautiful.

Please read the words below and let them sink in. How beautiful is Christ and what he has done for us. May you know that and live that out each day. May you accept the beauty of what he's done for you.

How beautiful the hands that served

the wine and the bread and the sons of the earth.

How beautiful the feet that walked

the long dusty roads and the hill to the cross.

How beautiful. How beautiful.

How beautiful is the body of Christ.

How beautiful the heart that bled,

that took all my sin and bore it instead.

How beautiful the tender eyes

that choose to forgive and never despise.

How beautiful. How beautiful.

How beautiful is the body of Christ.

And as He laid down His life

we offer this sacrifice

that we will live just as he died:

willing to pay the price, willing to pay the price.

How beautiful the radient bride

who waits for her Groom with His light in her eyes.

How beautiful when humble hearts give

the fruit of pure lives so that others may live.

How beautiful. How beautiful.

How beautiful is the body of Christ.

How beautiful the feet that bring

the sound of good news and the love of the King.

How beautiful the hands that serve

the wine and the bread and the sons of the earth.

How beautiful. How beautiful.

How beautiful is the body of Christ.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 5:16-18

Sorry for the lack of updates lately! There hasn't really been much to report...so no news is good news I guess. Thanks to all who have left comments or emailed us regarding my mask. We've had lots of fun reading them and plan on using some of the ideas over the next few months. Pictures to come!! Please keep sending us your ideas!!

We've updated the prayer requests just a bit as things improve slightly. One of those is my hearing. Although I still have the ringing and loss of hearing in the right ear, the extreme sensitivity I was experiencing has been healed. Please continue to pray with us...not only do we want to shrink the tumor, but let's shrink the prayer list!

I've dealt with so many side effects and different illnesses over the past few months. If it's not the nausea, it's blurry vision. If it's not hair loss, it's hearing loss. I've then had to deal with extreme allergies and a sinus infection in the past couple weeks. Zac and I often just look at each other and laugh. It's sometimes all we can do. But our strength is renewed each day as we remember that this life is only temporary. We look forward, with joy, to the life we'll live in eternity. No more sorrow. No more pain. I pray that you have that same hope and that you've fixed your eyes on CHRIST and what is eternal.

The Mask...

Praise the LORD. Praise the LORD from the heavens, praise him in the heights above. Praise him, all his angels, praise him, all his heavenly hosts. Praise him, sun and moon, praise him, all you shining stars. Praise him, you highest heavens and you waters above the skies. Let them praise the name of the LORD, for he commanded and they were created.
Psalm 148:1-5

It's time for a fun post!! So on my last day of radiation, one of the girls asked me, "Would you like to take your mask with you?" What? Are you kidding me? Why would I want to remember something like that? My response with a laugh was: "Only so I can burn it." She laughed, handed it to me, and said her goodbyes. So now I'm stuck with this beloved mask.

Zac and I thought it would be fun to have all of our blog followers help us decide what to do with the lovely mask. It can be a fun and clever way to destroy it. Or maybe a funny way to display it. Or any other clever thing you can think of (no offense will be taken - all ideas welcome!) I've included a picture of me wearing the mask and also a picture of what I got to bring home. We know you're creative, so give us your ideas. Click on the "comment" link below. If you're technically challenged, email me your ideas at stacieranee@hotmail.com. We want to hear from you!!! We'll give you a few weeks before we decide the winner. Have fun!!

First MRI Update

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

1 Peter 5:10-11

Well, we made it through a long morning of appointments and are back in Ankeny. We hit the road at 6AM and started with an MRI first thing when we got to Iowa City. I then headed to my oncologist where we had to wait two hours!!! But Zac and I made it fun and tried to keep each other awake by making up games in the exam room. Our last stop was with my radiation oncologist before heading home.

Now for the news you've been waiting for. There has been no growth in the tumor. The treatment itself could have caused it to grow - so PRAISE THE LORD that it didn't! The tumor is, in fact, about the same size, and perhaps slightly smaller. We were able to see the scans and to our untrained eyes, we felt it looked smaller, but then, we're no doctors! They were optimistic that there had been no new growth and that it may be slightly smaller. With all this said, they see no need to continue with chemo for right now. This leaves things open for the future - if needed, I would have the chemo available as a treatment option down the road.

Please continue to pray for my vision and hearing. The hearing problems I'm having could possibly be damage from the radiation as two of the radiation beams were right above my ears. I don't go back for my next MRI/app't until November, unless the hearing and vision get worse. Praise God for the MRI report today and please keep praying with us for the pray requests listed at the side. We continue to pray for a big miracle, from our big God - that the tumor will be gone. He has provided for us, protected us, encouraged us, loved us, guided us....and we know there's so much more in store.

Pray for us. We are sure that we have a clear conscience and desire to live honorably in every way.

Hebrews 13:18

Just wanted to post an update tonight with some current prayer requests. I had been feeling pretty good the past few weeks, as far as strength and energy level. However, I still need your prayers for my vision. I am struggling with blurry vision and we'll see what the doctors have to say when I have my check-up this Wednesday. I'm also noticing hearing changes. My ears have been super sensitive the past month. Different noises make me cringe as they instantly hurt my ears. The ringing is still noticable and I haven't noticed that I can hear any better, only that they hurt from certain noises.

My vision and hearing have been the two main issues. However, these two things have been applified the past couple days as I've come down with a bad head cold and sore throat. My ears are doing crazy things because of the cold, which is creating balance issues. And every time I cough, it instantly hurts my head. I've also been having slight breathing issues through all of this.

I have my one-month MRI this Wednesday, the 19th, followed my several doctor appointments. Please pray for a good report! We will definitely keep you posted on how it goes.

Relay For Life

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, and my God, in whom I trust."

Psalm 91:1-2

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to participate in the Franklin County Relay for Life in Hampton, Iowa. Relay for Life is an overnight event, sponsored by the American Cancer Society, which raises money for cancer research and programs. Among the recipients of money raised is places like The Hope Lodge. Zac and I were honored to attend and participate. The picture above is after completing the "Survivor Lap" around the track. Thank you to my family, who purchased several luminaries in my honor.

Please continue to pray for my vision. It continues to be slightly fuzzy recently, along with the double vision. Each day's a new day, some days are better than others. The bad days remind me that there's still a long way to go in this journey. Please pray for new strength each day as there are lots more hurdles to face.

Vision

Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people. News about him spread all over Syria, and people brought to him all who were ill with various diseases, those suffering severe pain, the demon-possessed, those having seizures, and the paralyzed, and he healed them.

Matthew 4:23-24

We keep on praising God for his hand of protection, his love, and his mercy. I am so thankful that many of the side effects from treatment are slowly being healed. However, there are still many things left to pray for, including prayers of healing for the damage the tumor has already done. In the next few weeks we want to focus in on each request. Tonight we want to specifically pray for my vision.

Over the past year I developed double vision when looking to the right. Please pray with us that this would be healed. Also, the past couple of days my vision in both eyes has been somewhat blurry. Pray that this will not grow into something more serious and that in fact, my eyes would clear up. There is no doubt that part of Jesus' earthly ministry was healing the sick and we still believe He heals today. That's why we ask that you join us in prayer for complete healing of my vision.

Praise God!

I will exalt you, my God the King;

I will praise your name for ever and ever.

Every day I will praise you

and extol your name for ever and ever.

Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise;

his greatness no one can fathom.

Psalm 145:1-3

I'm back...it's been a long week of trying to get back into the swing of things at home...catching up on the mail and other things that didn't take care of themselves while we were gone! A few visits from family. And lots of rests in between everything.

Today I wanted to take a moment and just praise God for his many blessings and hope that you will join me. When we started this journey several weeks ago, I had lots of info thrown at me from the doctors. There was a lot to process. There was a chance that the radiation could cause more serious problems (like blindness, deafness, and even death). But God protected my body and got me through these weeks and Zac and I have so much to be thankful for!!

First, praise God that radiation is over! : ) It went pretty quickly for the first few weeks, but it grew harder and harder to go the last week or so. A lot of this was because of always feeling sick...which, praise God, has for the most part subsided! And we definitely praise God for no sudden or serious changes, such as brain swelling, bleeding, high blood pressure, blindness, deafness, or death!! Praise God for his mercies!

I praise God also for only two headaches and no squeezing headpains since June 10! Two headaches is probably considered normal. The big part is that the headpains that were happening several times a week, have stopped!! Praise God!!! I'm still trying to stay away from things that caused these (like heavy lifting), but I've done some things that normally would have caused one...and nothing! Praise God!! Also, we are so thankful that my medication has decreased. I'm already down to only one prescription twice a day! I praise God that my scalp has not experienced the sunburnt feeling they said it would. I experience slight sensitivity, but nothing at all like they expected. Praise the Lord!

We are also so thankful for the Hope Lodge. This provided a free place to stay while we were in Iowa City. Instead of driving back and forth everyday (which would have made me more tired) or staying in a hotel (which would have added to the many expenses), we had a beautiful place to stay with great staff. We praise God for the Hope Lodge and the American Cancer Society. We also praise God for the great staff I had at the University of Iowa. How often do you get a hug, or two, from your nurse or tech? The radiation clinic was helpful, got me answers right away, and didn't keep me waiting. Praise God!

There are still so many things that we are praising God for, too many to list. But we especially praise Him for who He is. He is the great I Am. He is the Almighty God. He is a loving God. He is a God of never-ending mercies. He is a compassionate God....we could keep going, but you get the picture!

Praise the LORD!!

Treatment Stats

Teach us to number our days aright,

that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Psalm 90:12

Zac and I were reflecting on all the things that have taken place since June 10th, the day we decided to start treatment, and thought it'd be fun to put a little list together. Some are funny, some are serious, but we hope you enjoy!

• 25 - number of radiation treatments
• 17 - doctor's appointments
• 3 - MRIs
• 2 - headaches
• 1 - trip to the ER
• 36 - magazines read
• 2 - puzzles finished
• 1808 - miles driven to IC and back
• 0 - speeding tickets to and from Iowa City
• 1 - number of Iowa Hawkeye coaches spotted in IC (former-coach Tom Davis)
• 21 - average number of pills taken a day (but it's dropping!!)
• 156,231 - number of hairs lost (ok, we have no idea exactly, but it's been a lot!)
• 143 - cards received
• 26 - cards from my Texas Koch's
• 14 - lbs lost together (Stacie's due to treatment, Zac's due to no home-cooking by Stacie)
• 19 - wins by the Cubs
• 6 - books of the bible read (Hebrews, Galations, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, 1Thessalonians)
• 1045 - number of new cancer cases in Iowa in last 36 days
• 123,279 - number of new cancer cases in US in last 36 days

Last day!!!!

For nothing is impossible with God.

Luke 1:37

Last day of radiation is tomorrow!!!! Zac and I will be heading over in the morning and returning the same day. We've already packed up and moved out of Hope Lodge.
(http://www.cancer.org/docroot/subsite/hopelodge/IA_IowaCity/rag_index.asp), which was such a blessing the past several weeks. Although we were clearly the youngest people staying there, we still made a few friends along the way. There was an older man, with tounge cancer, who liked to tease me whenever he was feeling good. And I spent several hours putting together puzzles with a dear woman from Florida, whose husband recently started treatment.

We had a relaxing weekend again. Last night the two of us went to an Iowa Cubs game (thank you Thompson family!) A funny story from the game...I think I might have scared the high school girl sitting behind me. My "bald spots" aren't normally noticably, except I've found when the wind blows or I tip my head down. There was a bit of a breeze last night so I'm not sure what all she saw!! I'm hoping it grows back by November or it could be a cold winter!!

Thank you all so much for the prayers and support over the past several weeks (and 2+ years). Although we're done with the radiation tomorrow, I'll try my best to update the blog a couple times a week, as I'm still dealing with several side effects yet from treatment and medications. And we still need prayer that this tumor will be gone one day! According to every doctor we've met, this tumor is considered incurable and treatment was to stop it from growing for awhile and possibly shrink it some. But we have and believe in a big God, who is bigger than this tumor. All things are possible with the God who could create the universe, who created you and me.

Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens,

your faithfulness to the skies.

Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,

your justice like the great deep.

O LORD, you preserve both man and beast.

How priceless is your unfailing love!

Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings.

Psalm 36: 5-7

I'm having kind of a rough day today. Feeling really tired again, an upset stomach that lasts several hours and my neck is kind of sore again. You would think the last few days would be the easiest for me, as I can see the end in sight, but instead it's only getting harder to go to my appointment everyday. I don't seem to feel well the hour before and a couple hours after treatment. Although I'm hungry, no food sounds good or tastes good anymore in the afternoon/evening.

I'm not going to lie, it's hard being sick and yet staying positive through it. But God is bigger than this illness. Praying to him at every moment, opening his Word everyday, trusting him even when things don't go well - that's what keeps me going. That is where I find the strength. I don't have the strength on my own. I find my strength in God alone. I find refuge in the shadow of His wings.

I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart;

I will tell of all your wonders.

I will be glad and rejoice in you;

I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.

Psalm 9: 1-2

Three more days to go!!!! I can hardly believe that I'm almost finished with the 5 weeks of radiation. It's somehow gone by quickly...which I am very thankful for!!! Even though I can see the end in sight, each day gets harder and harder to go for treatment. I instantly feel nauseous during it and then on and off during the rest of the day.

I met with my oncologist today. We have great news, but we still need your prayers! I will end my chemo on Tuesday. They won't see me back until the middle of August when I will have my next MRI. At that time they will re-evaluate things and decide if I need to continue with the chemo!! If they decide to continue, I will be on an on-and-off schedule of taking them through December. My oncologist was very impressed with how my body's been handling things and seems to be very optimistic....hmmm.... maybe there's a lot a prayers going out to God!!!! I hope I'm explaining this well. It may sound strange to have just found this out, but some of it is due to the nature of the tumor, as it's not your normal brain tumor. But we do know we are in great hands here.

Zac and I are praising God for his hand of protection over my body! From day one we have been praying that God's hand would guide the radiation and chemo to shrink the tumor cells and not harm the healthy cells. We are still praying for God's healing touch that this tumor will be gone one day! Please continue to pray with us. Although we've received good news, the tumor is still there. We know your prayers are being answered - we feel them everyday!

Praise the Lord.

Praise, O servants of the Lord,

praise the name of the Lord.

Let the name of the Lord be praised,

both now and forevermore.

From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets,

the name of the Lord is to be praised.
Psalm 113:1-3

Since my time staying in Iowa City is getting short, my blog tonight is going to be short too. : ) I've had a long day and am pretty tired. A muscle in my neck/throat was bothering me this afternoon and so we met with the doctor after treatment. They're not sure what it is, but will monitor it. I also met with a dietician to try to help with medication related side effects I've been dealing with. Plus refilling meds and such, made for a long day. My mom then treated me to a chair massage at the hospital "spa" which helped with the tension!

We do have a HUGE praise! We were asking my nurse if some of the side effects would continue for the 5+ months of chemo. She said probably not because of my chemo schedule - she further explained that on my last day of radiation, I will take the chemo that night and then I will be off of it for a month!!!! I'm not sure on the exact schedule, they will explain it tomorrow, but I will be on and off for the rest of the five months!! We are praising God both now and forevermore!!

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong, and that you O Lord, are loving.

Psalm 62:1-2,7-8, 11

As I wrote the above verse, I was truly comforted. God is my rock. He is my refuge. He is my salvation. He is strong and he is loving. I've often thought over the past two and a half years how there is no way I could have gone through this not knowing God, not knowing Jesus Christ, not being filled with the Holy Spirit. He alone has gotten me through this. Every single day I feel his love. Every day I feel his peace. I am in his arms every moment. And there is no place else I'd rather be - in the arms of our loving Creator.

I'm back once again in Iowa City and just finished Day 20...5 more to go!! I had an MRI immediately afterwards. I won't really find any results out from it as it's mainly for the doctor's tracking. But we continue to pray that one day, in God's perfect timing, the MRI will show that the tumor is completely gone!

I continue to praise God for no head "pains" - absolutely none! The best I can explain this is that it felt as if someone was squeezing my brain for a couple seconds. In the month before we started treatment, it would happen a couple times a day. I am in awe that I've had not one...but I shouldn't be!! I'm still experiencing nausea in the afternoons after treatment. My hair is falling out in clumps now, but it's all in the back so you can't see it. I haven't been able to blow dry, curl, or use styling products from day one because of skin irritations/burns. They said my scalp would look sunburnt where the beams hit, but so far it's fine other than it's just starting to get slightly sensitive this week. All-in-all, things are going well. Nothing major to complain about, just minor annoyances!

My mom is here with me for a couple nights again. I'm so blessed to have an amazing family - my husband, mom, dad, sisters, and more, Zac's family and so many friends and also friends we've never met yet. May each of you feel God's love and strength tonight! Trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him.

Weekend Update

Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the LORD is good. 1 Peter 2:2-3

Forgive me, blog addicts, for not posting yesterday. : ) Travel days get kind of long and by the time I get home, I'm ready for a rest. I can't believe I've finished week 4 already!!!! It's incredible how fast it's been going. I have one more full week and then I'll have to return the following Monday for my 25th day. This coming Monday I will also have my 2nd MRI. I've maybe mentioned this before, but they don't expect to see instant results. The MRI is mainly for them to monitor and also to see if they need to increase the dose and duration.

I've still been experiencing some nausea/GI issues the past few days. I met with my doctor yesterday and they increased my meds just a bit so hopefully that will work. I've also noticed a huge change in my taste buds the last couple days. This is a common side effect of the radiation and they say it could last up to 6-12 months following treatment. The main difference is that anything remotely sweet (yogurt) or acidic (pasta sauce), tastes horrible. Two and a half years ago, when we first found out about the tumor, I started really paying attention to food and my body - mainly noticing that there were certain foods that caused instant headaches for me. The main thing is sugar - from foods like desserts, not sugar in fruit. So to keep from getting headaches, I've tried my best to stay away from sugary foods. And this past month, I've especially avoided all desserts. But this new change in tastes, adds yet another dynamic to planning meals, grocery shopping, eating out.

Just enjoying the rest of the weekend - and excited my sister's bringing my niece and nephew this afternoon to visit!!!! I'll be back on here Monday, have a great weekend and thank for the prayers!!

7 Days to go!!

Not to us, O LORD, not to us

but to your name be the glory,

because of your love and

faithfulness.

Psalm 115:1

Since everyone always asks questions about the radiation process, I thought I'd include pictures so you can get a better understanding. The tech's set me up on the table and then leave the room for each dose. They come back in the room 4 times to adjust me - moving the table, the equipment and adjusting my mouthpiece. Even with all this adjusting, it usually only takes around 10-15 minutes. I think I've explained it before, but in the close up shot, you can see my mask that's fitted to my face, which is to keep me from moving. I also have a mouthpiece, which has censors that line up with a computer to make sure the radiation goes precisely where it's supposed to. They also tape my chin closed, which also keeps me from moving. There is no pain, I don't feel anything. I just hear the noise of the machine turning on and off. I'm also left with a bad taste in my mouth and unpleasant smell.

Zac is back in Iowa City with me! He got here last night. We're heading home tomorrow morning after treatment and app't with dr. I've been feeling slightly nauseous the past few days in the afternoon. Looking forward to enjoying another weekend back!

Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous; it is fitting for the upright to praise him. Praise the LORD with the harp; make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre. Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy.

For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. The LORD loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love. By the word of the LORD were the heavens made, their starry host by the breath of his mouth. He gathers the waters of the sea into jars; he puts the deep into storehouses. Let all the earth fear the LORD; let all the people of the world revere him. For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm. The LORD foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.

Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance. From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all mankind; from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth - he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do. No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength. A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save. But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you. Psalm 33

So after last night's post, my headache kept getting worse. I had to stay up to take my 10:00 medication, but only wanted to sleep because I knew that sleep was about the only thing that would take it away. But I also wondered - how am I going to sleep when I get up several times in the night because of all the water I have to drink with my meds?! However, I was exhausted after not sleeping much the night before and fell asleep immediately at 10:30. The FIRST time I woke up wasn't until 1:30 and the headache was gone!! That was the longest I had slept in a long time...and beyond that, there was already no headache! I lay in bed at 1:30AM, praising God! It may sound silly to some to be shouting for joy, but the thought of having headaches through this is scary and leaves me wondering sometimes - what if it doesn't go away or what if it's signaling something is worse. Because of this I continued my praise and drifted off to sleep for another 3 hours (again, amazing!) and woke at 4:30, singing praises once again.

If you haven't noticed, Zac and I enjoy the book of Psalms. And I couldn't resist including the entire chapter this time. I hope you enjoy it too! Remember to praise the LORD today for his many blessings in your life. He is faithful in all he does.

"Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Psalm 46:10-11

Stillness in our world is rather rare yet God commands us to be still and know him. He desires for us to be near him and to recognize that He alone is God! The Lord is with us and we are so blessed!! This is Amy and I have been priviledged to care for Stacie these last days which has ministred to my heart.

Stacie did not rest as well last night as we had hoped but she was ready to walk this morning. The stillness of God was with us even as we were surrounded by commutors, runners and traffic. After breakfast and devo's we found ourselves attracted to a puzzle in the common area. We both love puzzles and are actually making some head way on it too!! Around lunch we decided to venture out and found a quiet deli. From there it was to the hospital for her treatment.

This afternoon and tonight Stacie has been struggling with a slight headache. We ask for continued prayers that she will be protected physically from headaches, nausea, and fatigue.
Watching Stacie, I have been amazed at her courage, calmness and peace. Prayer is such a source of strength and it encompasses her entire day. I have been so blessed to pray for her, with her and over her. Your prayers are such a source of comfort and your cards are a great source of encouragement. Thank you for your constant love and faithfulness.

Back at it!

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

So after an amazing and wonderful long weekend...I'm back to Iowa City. Zac and I had a very relaxing weekend and the fatigue I had been experiencing has actually slowed down. I was tired Friday and Saturday and needed to rest in the afternoon. However, it never hit me on Sunday! I felt great all day! Praise the LORD! The shedding of hair has continued but I continue to be thankful for not losing all of it and for having hairstylists in the family if needed! But so far you can't even notice. I was able to see my dad and Zac and I made it to church Sunday - other than that a pretty low-key 4th of July.

I headed over this morning with my friend Amy, who's staying for a couple nights. I got through my 15th appointment and I now have only 10 more days and I'm still amazed at how quickly it's going. Please pray continuously with us that God will protect every good cell in my body. That he will guide the radiation and the medications directly where they need to go to shrink the tumor and no harm will be done to the healthy cells. We're praying for no swelling, no bleeding, no high blood pressure, no headaches. And that damage that has been done, would be restored.

I know I mention this a lot, but we are so thankful for the many prayers! We praise God everyday for our wonderful family and friends. As we've walked through this, we've felt the love and peace of God everyday and pray that you feel the same in whatever you're facing this day.

Hair Loss...

And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid.

Matthew 10:30-31a

I don't think I've ever really explained the extent of hair loss I'm expected to have. I think most people (me included at one time) think that chemotherapy means total hair loss. However, all cancer treatment is different and with the chemo I'm taking, I'm not expected to lose my hair. However, from the radiation I'm expected to lose patches of hair where the radiation hits. It may or may not be permenant - but probably will not be. They said to expect it a few weeks after treatment starts. Well...this morning after I showered, I combed hair and was left with a small clump of hair in hand. Yikes! They can tell you it's going to happen, but when it happens, you're really not prepared. I am so very thankful that I won't lose all my hair, but it was still a difficult way to start out the morning.

Update

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23

Just wanted to give a quick end of the week update. I didn't get around to it last night as the fatigue has set in! Wednesday night I slept great for once and even slept longer than the normal 5AM. I felt great all of Thursday morning. However, by the afternoon I was exhausted and that seems to be the case again today.

I met with both of my doctors this week and things seem to be going well. My radiation doctor called me a star patient. : ) I'd attribute that to the LORD, my Shepherd. I think the hardest part this week was digesting that fact that I'll be taking the chemo pills every night for 6 months! That's a long time. But Lord truly is my comforter and I shall not be in want. He will guide me through!

Have a fun and safe 4th of July!

Half Way Point!!!

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:29-31

It's hard to believe I'm halfway done with my radiation already! It sometimes feels like a crazy dream. It's all gone so fast. We are praising God of every minute that things have gone relatively well so far. God is good!! And we are so thankful for the many prayers of intercession.

I think the fatique set in today. Normally I get a little tired throughout the day and need to lay down for just a bit, especially in the afternoon. However, today I had my treatment and then met with both my radiation oncologist and oncologist. By the time I got back I was exhausted. It was different than just being tired. I got some rest, my mom cooked for me, and after dinner I had some of my energy back. They say the fatigue is from the radiation and also side effects from some of the meds. But I also haven't been sleeping much. It hasn't been a problem for me until today. But it's also a cloudy day, so let's see the sun tomorrow and I'll be back at it! : ) And as I place my hope in the Lord, may he renew my strength.

The week went quickly. I found out that because of the 4th, there is no app't on Friday, so I'm heading home tomorrow morning for a long weekend. It will be great to see Zac early. And it was comforting having my mom here this week to care for me.

The perfect Word of God

The grass withers and the lilies fade,

but the word of God stands forever.

Isaiah 40:8

This is Zac. A couple friends from work took me to lunch today. They were asking me what I've learned in the last two years and even the past two weeks in all Stac and I have gone through. Hmmm...a lot! Too many things to mention, but one thing that sticks out to me is just how powerful scripture is. We've learned how we can rely on and have complete confidence on the Word of God. This is an ancient book, yet it is so applicable and completely revelent to this day. The passion and purity of the word of God has brought comfort and peace to Stac and I time and time again through many ups and downs. If I had one thing to say it would be - be in the word because it truly is the anchor of the soul.

Stac finished her 12th day of treatment. I'm so proud of her - she's a champ. Her techs told her she's their favorite because she lays so still! So excited to see her Thursday.

Another Beautiful Day

This is the day the LORD has made;

let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118: 24

Zac and I had a great weekend. It was good to be home again and hug both my sisters! I think I was a bit ambitious this weekend and by Sunday night I was kind of tired and on the verge of a headache. But the slight headache passed (!) and we headed to bed early. I'm finding that short visits are best as I get tired and tension builds in my shoulders the more I'm talking throughout the day.

My mom is staying in Iowa City with me for the week (it's nice having her all to myself for a few days!) We've had a great day together. We both have been enjoying the beautiful weather - it made me think of the verse above - let us rejoice and be glad in this day!! God has created every minute of every day, He is the author of every point in time and we are so thankful for this day He has given to us. We were even able to walk to my app't this afternoon. I'm getting to know all of my staff and they make me feel so comfortable. I feel surrounded by God's love every minute of the day.

I feel like my posts have been kind of boring lately! But no news is good news right now! God is in control every step of the way and we are so thankful for His peace, His love, His mercies. His grace. Please continue to pray for no bleeding or swelling. I've been on chemo for a week now and continue to pray that my blood counts will remain at normal levels. We update the prayer requests at the side every once and awhile - and we are so thankful for all the prayers, support, cards, comments, encouragement.

Another week done!!

Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.

Worship the LORD with gladness;

come before him with joyful songs.

Know that the LORD is God.

It is he who made us, and we are his;

we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Psalm 100:1-3

I can't believe we've finished two weeks already of radiation!! 10 down, 15 more to go!! I remember the first day I went in for a practice run 2 weeks ago and I walked in the room and just started crying (one of the tech's gave me a hug!) Now I feel like a pro and thanks to God, I have had a peace that surpasses my understanding each time I go. I'm a person who likes stillness and solitude, so it's not all that hard for me to lay perfectly still with only my prayers to focus on. 15 minutes of just talking with God. And a peace that overwhelms me. Who would have thought this could take place during cancer treatment!!

I had my first MRI yesterday and met with the doctor today. He said the scans looked fine - no changes from the last MRI, which is a good thing. The MRI was to watch for any abnormal swelling/bleeding. So PRAISE GOD! They do not expect immediate shrinking to occur and actually don't want shrinking to occur too quickly. This is what can cause the bleeding or other serious issues. So please pray that God would control this tumor and shrink it in His perfect timing.

No major problems today except for with my neck. It feels tight on and off. The thing that helps is to lay down for a bit and also rest my voice. But we continue to praise God each day for absolutely no headaches and head pains since this started!!! I know we've mentioned it before, but I can't explain what this means. In recent months I was consistently getting pains in my head that would last a few seconds and then go away, usually only after laying down. Granted, I'm taking it easy these days, but no pains is a miracle in itself.

We'll probably take a break from the blog for the weekend unless anything serious comes up. Thanks for the encouragement, prayers, and support! Talk to you Monday! : )

Back Together

But I trust in your unfailing love;

my heart rejoices in your

salvation.

I will sing to the LORD,

for he has been good to me.

Psalm 13:5-6

Drove out this afternoon to spend the night with Stacie and bring her home for the weekend. We had dinner with Liz and her husband Caleb, who rode out with me. Four days away from one may not seem that long, but it sure seemed like a long week and it was great to see her again. She's looking great and feeling pretty good still. She had a long afternoon - her radiation treatment, followed by her first MRI to monitor the tumor - making sure of no abnormal swelling/bleeding. We will meet with the doctor in the morning. One thing to be lifting up is her neck. It's been tense or sore tonight. Please continue to pray.

Thanks for the Love!

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends...This is my command: Love each other. John 15: 12-13,17

I made it through my second night of chemo pills with no problems! They switched my anti-nausea medication and it worked much better for me. Praise the Lord! I didn't really sleep much though, but amazingly, that hasn't caused too many problems. I take it easy during the day and haven't been too tired. My aunt took off this morning, just as my friend, Elizabeth arrived. She's also taking good care of me! We took it slow today with the hot weather and had fun cooking together.

I had a fun visitor this afternoon. Zac's sister, Mollie, has a good friend who lives in Iowa City. I had never met her before, yet she stopped by to drop off a care package. Zac and I have been first, so humbled, by the people who have reached out to us to show they care. We are truly amazed at how the body of Christ (that's all of you!) have supported us and loved us from day one. You have obeyed Christ's command to love one another as He loves you and we have never been so thankful. Thank you for keeping us encouraged every step of the way!

Continue to pray for the requests at the left! We update it occasionally as needed.

First ER Visit

This is what the Lord says: "Do not be afraid! Don't be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours it belongs to God."

2 CHRONICLES 20:15b

Do not be afraid.....do not be discouraged. This is Julie, Stacie's aunt writing tonight. In the middle of the night when your body is feeling the effects of the first chemo treatment and nausea takes over these are hard words to trust and believe. However, this battle certainly is God's and Stacie is standing in faith and has such a positive attitude. The nurse in the ER at 5 am even said "I can't believe you can give us a smile as sick as you are".

Yes, unfortunately we had to make a trip to the emergency room after 2+ hours of extreme vomiting in the middle of the night. One hour I knew could be normal; two was too much so I called the on-call doctor who ordered us to the ER immediately. IV fluids and a new anti-nausea medication were her best friend and after a few hours Stacie looked like herself again. She ate a good breakfast and by 10 am we were taking a walk (not quite at her normal speedy pace) but none too slow despite the short (or long) night, depending on how you look at it.

Stacie said she feels so grateful for yet another day with no headaches - truly Praise God! And she continues to ask for the same prayer requests listed. We would ask that the new medication keep away the nausea and that she would get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow her friend Liz will be her caregiver - I wouldn't wish that anyone be here by themselves and it's amazing that there are some who are. We have enjoyed visiting with some of the families in the dining area; you just never know whose life you are going to encourage along the way.

Keep the cards and prayers coming - she looks in the mailbox every time she walks by! JULIE

Back at It

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7

After a very relaxing weekend back home seeing family and friends, it's now back to Iowa City for the week. I traveled over this afternoon with my aunt, who's staying for a couple days. I had my 6th radiation app't, and they're going smoothly - besides the metallic taste I'm starting to develop in my mouth.

I'm officially starting the chemo pills this evening. I was staring at the bottles earlier and started thinking how I'm really not enjoying the thought of chemo! But the verse I wrote above came to mind, which has been a verse on my heart throughout this whole experience. I cannot be anxious about ANYTHING and I must continue to present my requests to our loving God. Obviously that's not always easy! But that's where we are so thankful for the many people praying for us through this. We have felt the peace of God, guarding us over and over again.

Please continue to pray for my hearing. On and off, my left ear (my good ear) has felt plugged. Pray that it would open up so I can hear clearly. Pray also for the anxiety which seems to be worse at night and therefore I haven't been sleeping very well. We are so thankful for all of you and our encouragement!

Home for the Weekend!

For in him we live and move and have our being. Acts 17:28a

It's so good to be home! We made it back tonight after a long trip home - flash floods, water over the interstate, semi off the road. God protected us and it's now so great to be in our own house for a couple nights, hoping to see some family and friends this weekend.

I've made it through the first 5 days of radiation! 20 more visists to go. Chemo pills start on Monday. Please continue to pray that God will guide every radiation beam and pill directly where it should go to best heal me. Pray also for no side effects. My ears have been plugged today and the doctor explained that could be from the radiation. They go in at 5 different spots and 2 of them are right above my ears. Pray that my hearing will be protected. I've also been having a hard time sleeping - not sure if it's being away from home or if it's from the treatment/medication. Pray that I can receive some much needed rest. And pray for peace to overwhelm me each day.

We'll be heading back to Iowa City Monday morning. God bless!

Strong and Courageous

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you, he will never leave you nor forsake you.

Deuteronomy 31:6

For those of you who know my husband, he tends to think he's the Asian Lance Armstrong when out riding his bike. The other day in a waiting room, he found a magazine with Lance on the cover so of course he had to take a look. For those of you unfamiliar with Lance he was diagnosed with testicular cancer, which had also spread to his brain and lungs. He battled back from cancer to win the ultimate cycling race, the Tour de France, 7 years in a row. He also started the LIVESTRONG campaign to raise cancer awareness and encourage people to be strong in their cancer battle.

The thing that stuck out to us in this article was that Lance said he approached his battle with cancer with the same determination that he approaches a bike race: focusing on the finish line. I may not be a world cyclist, but I have this same determination in my battle. I am focused on the finish line. However, where I'm different from Lance is that my key to living strong is Christ living in me. I have Christ with me every day keeping me strong and courageous. I have set my mind on the finish line - living with Christ every step of the way.

Another day done and I'm feeling great! Continue to pray for NO side effects through this - please continue to check the left side of this website for specifics. We have continued this week getting more information on the chemo and will start that on Monday. It will be in the form of a pill and I will take it for approximately 6 months. We continue to try to live a normal life - more visitors today with Zac's mom bringing his 2 nieces out for a fun lunch.

Our Home Away From Home - Hope Lodge

Lamentations 3:21-26

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion;

therefore I will wait for him."

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him,

it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

Just wanted to give an update on our home away from home for the next several weeks. One of Stacie's nurses got us in touch with a place called Hope Lodge. It's kind of like a Ronald McDonald House, only for adults with cancer. It's been a huge blessing and God completely opened the door for this - with one room available. The facility is brand new (0pened in October) and it's in a great location. For those of you familiar with Iowa City (and who love Iowa Football!), her doctor's app't are right across the street from Kinnick Stadium and Hope Lodge shares a parking lot with Carver Hawkeye. So we're in walking distance of all her app't. As you can see from the picture above, it faces the woods (we saw deer yesterday!). You can see our bedroom - it's on the top floor, left corner. There are no tv's in our rooms, because they try to get you out in the dining room and tv rooms to meet people and feel like a community. We also have a shared kitchen and make our own meals.

One thing I've learned over the last two years about my wife, is how encouraged Stac gets from receiving mail. My goal through this time is to shower her with cards throughout the next few weeks and beyond. Her address in Iowa City is:

Hope Lodge

Attn: Stacie McGregor #301

750 Hawkins Drive

Iowa City, IA 52246

Our address at home is:

Zac and Stacie McGregor

3007 SW Westwood St

Ankeny, IA 50023

Day 2 went well - a couple of app't and second day of treatment. Stac's spirits are high and she's feeling great - she's a trooper . The highlight of the day for both of us was having dinner with our good friends, Mike and Danielle. Thank you all so much for your love and support. Again, we have been so blessed by all of you.

Day 1 - in the books!!!

Psalm 103:1-5

Praise the LORD, O my soul;

all my inmost being,

praise his holy name.

Praise the LORD, O my soul,

and forget not all his benefits -

who forgives all your sins

and heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit

and crowns you with love and compassion,

who satisfies your desires with good things

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

We made it through the first day. Praise the Lord! God is so good!

We started out bright and early this morning with our first app't at 8:00 AM with the eye doctor. This was to get a baseline reading of my vision to compare throughout the process. Then we headed straight to radiation oncology for treatment #1. I was fitted for all the equipment last week so we were ready to go. I basically lay on a table (they cover me with a blanket and rubber band my feet together to help keep me from moving). Then they put a mask on me that is fitted to my face, along with a mouthpiece. All of this is to keep me as still as possible. If I move even a millimeter, there are sensors on the mouthpiece that tell the computer I've moved and it shuts down the radiation. They then have to come back in and adjust me back to my original spot. This is all so that the radiation hits exactly the precise spot it's supposed to. They said I did great - I didn't move at all today!! Last week when I tried all this on, it was hard to relax and breathe easily. It's definitely easier today, but pray that I can stay relaxed through this process. It's fairly quick and also painless, which is a blessing!

Please pray that the radiation beams will always hit EXACTLY where it's supposed to. Pray for the staff, that they will be alert and focused. I've really been praying that God's HAND would guide the radiation, and also the chemotherapy and other drugs to EXACTLY where they need to go to be most effective.

After this we stopped at Hope Lodge to check in. We will post a picture, hopefully tomorrow, of where we're staying and give you more details. Then we were off to an oncology app't to discuss the chemo with my doctor. We were told in more details the side effects of the chemo and our doctor explained at length that it will cause infertility. This has given us new things to pray about. Please pray for us as we meet with our team of doctors tomorrow to discuss this more.

Thank you so much for your prayers. It's been a long day and we're exhausted so we'll write more tomorrow. We love you all and are humbled by your support! God Bless!!

Update, Please Pray

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." - Ecclesiastes 3:1

It's been two years already since Stacie was first diagnosed with a brainstem glioma. The doctors have all been in agreement to wait for treatment until symptoms were increased. As of recently, she has experienced more intense changes and we headed to the University of Iowa Hospitals this week for a last opinion. Following these appointments, we have decided that it's time to begin treatment. Our next season of life consists of 5 weeks of treatment in Iowa City.

We feel very comfortable with the team of doctors and staff and believe we are in good hands. Stacie will be receiving radiation along with chemotherapy. Wednesday she had a series of tests and exams and was fitted for some of the equipment that will be used for radiation. This morning we headed back and they walked her through what treatment will consist of. Monday morning everything will officially begin. God's hand has already been shown in mighty ways. One of those being that we already have a place to stay during the week and will hopefully be home on the weekends.

Bottom line, we covet your prayers. Please look at the prayer requests to the left and continue to pray with us as we ask for God's protection and healing hand during the next 5 weeks and many years to come. We will do our best to update you with this blog throughout this journey.

Thank you and God bless.

Psalm 46

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Come and see the works of the Lord, the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow
and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire.
"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Psalm 73

Psalm 73:21-28

When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

Yet I am always with you;
You hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.

We're Back!

For those of you still reading this, I'm so sorry for neglecting this lately. I think I've been avoiding it because I don't always like to face what I'm going through. : ) But I'm finally back and just wanted to give an update. Since my last post, I met with one of my doctor's and talked to my neurologist again on the phone for some follow-up questions. I was able to get some things answered and felt some peace after talking with both.

One question we had was why am I noticing changes if the MRI is showing no change. My neurologist explained again that their ability to measure with the MRI is not as good as my ability to feel. They believe the tumor is growing, it's just at such a small rate that they can't measure it with the MRI. We've known this all along, it's just something we need to remind ourselves of. He also met with my radiation oncologist and they are both on the same page now and believe that I should continue doing what I'm doing and wait until absolutely necessary to go through treatment.

We continue to do more research and are looking at setting up more appointments in the future. We also continue to just take one day at a time and wait patiently on God. That's all any of us can do. Continue to pray for peace to know when/if to go through treatment, which can shrink the tumor, but can also damage the healthy nerves that control vision, hearing, balance, etc.

No Change

We had the doctor appointments today and learned that once again there is no noticible growth in the size of the tumor. We're praising God that it hasn't changed since last time.

We're not sure what's next. I'm feeling sort of frustrated because I'm noticing changes in my body - mainly my eyesight and hearing. I've been leaning towards starting treatment but just wanted to get through today's appointments first. I'm planning on setting up an app't with my family dr and radiation oncologist to get some more questions answered.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers. We couldn't get through this without God's strength and the prayers of all of you. Please continue to pray for wisdom and peace in things to come.

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer" Romans 12:12

I've finally set up the appointments for my 6 month checkup. This Wednesday, Feb 25 I will have my MRI and then will meet with my neurologist to go over the results. The MRI will show if the tumor has grown significantly or not. Based off the other appointments over the last two years we don't think it's growing by a lot (but they say it's growing slowly). However, over the past few months I've noticed changes in my body, leading me to believe that it may be time to go through treatment. My eyesight has definetely changed lately. I started noticing double vision awhile back and lately it has clearly gotten worse and I'm having to wear my glasses more. I don't have much hearing left in my right ear. I normally can hear fine when I'm with a small group of people but in large crowds I'm having troubles hearing clearly - I usually hear sounds, not clear words. Looking through pictures I can also see that my face is changing more. The tumor is hitting nerves that is creating what the doctor's call facial weakness. Migraines have not been a huge issue lately, but I sometimes have pains in my head that last a few seconds where it feels like someone is squeezing my brain...not fun!!

There have definetely been lots of good days with the bad. We are praising God daily for each day he gives us. We are still trusting and believing in a miracle and know that it will be in His time. The doctor's have said that radiation will not take away the tumor, it will only shrink it. But we continue to praise and believe in our big and powerful God.

I will extol the Lord at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
My soul will boast in the Lord;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the Lord with me;
let us exalt his name together.
I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
This poor man called and the Lord heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.
Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. (Psalm 34:1-8)

Please be praying for us this week and we will be sure to keep you updated after Wednesday. God's blessings!!

Update

For those of you checking this, sorry I haven't posted sooner. I know the last time I wrote I said I'd be setting up my appointments very soon. I'm still not sure when they are. I called my doctor this week and am waiting for a call back this week to get things finalized. I will hopefully have more soon. The MRI and 6 month check up will be in the next few weeks.

Stacie

Thank You!

Just wanted to thank all of you so much for making my birthday last week so much fun! I've had a great time running to the mailbox and reading all your birthday greetings. You should see the huge stack sitting on our table!

When I first found out about the tumor, I would come home from work and the only thing that seemed to encourage me at the time was receiving cards and letters from family, friends, and even people I didn't know. Zac knew how much this meant to me, which is why he made a point of asking you to send birthday cards last week. When we started this blog, we didn't want for it just to be a prayer list, but also to be an encouragement to those who were reading it. My request of you today is that you reach out and encourage someone else you know (not me! I've received my fill for the week!). Maybe you don't get excited about receiving mail yourself, but you have no idea how much it might mean to someone who is hurting. Send a card to someone you know who may be going through a rough time: maybe a friend had a loved one pass away, maybe a family member lost a job, or a coworker is going through a difficulty in a relationship. Cheer the person up with words of encouragement, letting them know you care.

"An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up." Proverbs 12:25

You'll probably be hearing from later this week. My next MRI appointment will be made soon. I'll keep you updated on when that is. Please pray in confidence for a miracle!

Trust the Lord

I've been in a habit every January to read a chapter from the book of Proverbs each day since there are 31 chapters in this book. Throughout the Proverbs, one can see the reward of "trusting in the Lord." Stac and I picked Proverbs 3:5-6 as the banner verses for our blog because they have been an encouragement to our hearts, comfort to our minds, and have repeatedly ministered to our soul in good and bad times.

We have learned over the past years together that trusting in the Lord is fundamental to our relationship with God. If you are like us there are a lot of things in this world that cause us to doubt and to be skeptical, but these verses wipe away any doubt and give us a clarity and direction to place our trust in God, who is Absolute Truth and is 100% reliable. Praise God! The word trust in Hebrew literally means “clinging to” with the idea of setting one’s hope and confidence upon God. The older Stac and I get we have learned to put our trust in God vs. man. We are finding our own understanding is so limited, weak, and subject to a lot of errors.

Everyday seems to be a new day to learn again and build onto what we learned the day before about trusting in the Lord. We figure the more we can learn to acknowledge God in all we say and do, even in the smallest details He will make our paths straight, and lead us where He wants to direct us.

Stac has been experiencing more frequent headaches and noticing more changes in her body and so treatment may soon be upon us. We continue to pray and place our trust in our Lord. We are clinging to the hope that God will heal her, either through a miracle without treatment or a miracle with treatment (since the treatment can only shrink the tumor).